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05/30/07 Get revenge on your tiresome neighbours! Spring is here, which means taking revenge on your neighbours has never been easier. Spread the beauty of dandelions to your asshole neighbours. Find a patch of dandelions, preferably in the fully white seeding stage, and pick a handful or two - don't forget to load up on medication to subvert your allergies. Also, medication can be fun. Next, go for a walk and shake some dandelion seeds onto your neighbours lawn. Dandelions grow like, well, weeds, so you can be sure that the yellow seeds of revenge will flourish, even if it takes a couple tries. If you have a really deep seated hatred to satiate, then take a nighttime trip and take some extra time spreading the seeds out to form curse words. If nature takes too long for you, try writing curse words in the neighbours lawn with chalk, this is pretty innocent since a good run through the lawn or a mowing or a light rain will wash away your anger. For a slow burning anger, write on the driveway - preferably during a drought, since if the neighbour pulls out the hose they might get into trouble. Don't forget about the old faithfuls: A little toilet paper goes a long long way, and of course, a pet dog can be persuaded to poop anywhere. Most of this stuff counts as vandalism, so be sure to wear gloves, check for video cameras, and get the job done quick. |
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