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Best & Bitchiest * * * * * * * * * * (05/16/05) Name of Asshole: Alice M*rph* What they should be called: Lazy cunt Location: Paris, Ontario Workplace/Career: Student Relationship: Partner for my history project Why they made the Bitch List: She didn't do any work at all so I had to do the whole thing myself and whenever I'd ask her to do something she'd yell at me for being bossy and making her cry! How they should be punished: She shouldn't get any marks for the project. And then she should wet her pants in front of Adam Kell**hn in the cafeteria with everyone watching. * * * * * * * * * * (05/11/05) Name of Asshole: Jake M*rg*n What they should be called: Homophobic asshole closet-case Location:Portland, Oregon Workplace/Career: Manager at Denny's (seriously) Relationship: N/A Why they made the Bitch List: This bastard made out with me at a bar - a GAY BAR - and then when I called him he went on about how he wasn't gay and a whole bunch of shit about how I was going to hell! What the fuck? He was in a GAY BAR! He made out with me, a GUY, in a GAY BAR. How they should be punished: He should get a hardon every time he looks at a man and never be able to get it up for a girl - unless she's damn butch. * * * * * * * * * * Name of Asshole: Cattrah What they should be called: Twatwaffle Location: MLPTP Workplace/Career: N/A Relationship: N/A Why they made the Bitch List: Posting about how they hate birds, in a topic about birds.. How totally fuckin' rude can you be? How they should be punished: No saucer of milk for you, sunshine! * * * * * * * * * * Name of Asshole: A.B. What they should be called: Mamma's little titsucker Location: Canada Workplace/Career: N/A Relationship: Ex-monster boyfriend Why they made the Bitch List: Sat around smoking dope, not working, showering, doing anything productive. When life was looking up, told me to hit the road. His mother suggested we drown the cats. How they should be punished: A very long life of disappointments, suffering and sleepless nights. * * * * * * * * * * Name of Asshole: John B*bb*tt What they should be called: Asshole Location: Los Angeles, CA Workplace/Career: Music Management Company Relationship: Ex-boyfriend Why they made the Bitch List: I commented on him before, but I forgot to add that his new girlfriend is going to be really disappointed because he is horrible in bed and his balls look like they are deformed - one looks like it's barely hanging by a thread. Maybe he lied to another woman and she grabbed his balls. I don't know. He also barely ever wants to have sex and will only do it his way - which lasts about 2 minutes and happens about twice a month. How they should be punished: He is going to regret treating me like I'm there to fit into his life and at his convenience. He told me that, 'He didn't know if his new girlfriend would work out and he might come back!' Was I supposed to be excited or something? She'll probably get sick of his self-absorption and dump him (or maybe they'll have a nearly sexless marriage - lucky her)! I would love him to want me so badly that it breaks his heart. If he ever tries to come back, I will make sure his heart gets broken. * * * * * * * * * * Name of Asshole: N****l*S **ll** What they should be called: Psycho rat faced fucktard lier mother licking brother fucker Location: Ash vale Workplace/Career: Office monkey, makes tea thinks he's important Relationship: Ex-bully and prison guard (ex-boyfriend) Why they made the Bitch List: That thing about the cheese in their teeth - true, brushed them about once every two weeks. Seriously. Washed his hair once a month and his body, uh about 3 times in two years. No kidding. One smelly fuckface. He got me when I was 15 and at the time I thought he was charming and washed. I fell in love and moved out with him and then I found out what he was like, but it was too late I'd fallen in love. For the next year and a half I went through hell for refusing to dump my best friend. Lost many others because they would be bitched at for being black or gay by his brother when he came to our home. I lost my life and he demeaned me and convinced me I was worthless and a moron. and I still find that belief hard to shake. Also, I had this pink toy cat for something like 14 years, and I loved it. He ripped it to shreds and threw it down the stairs. I've had it for a year now with its stuffing hanging out and its not fixable. His brother got involved and treated me like shit as well as we lived with him. How they should be punished: I want to put an axe in his head or neck. Actually, I want to tell my friends where he lives as they are desperate to 'make him disappear.' Or maybe someone could put a pitchfork in him. I want to hit him upside the head with a house. Beat him in the face with a cheese grater. Actually I just want him to feel 10% of the pain they put me through and then watch him crawl up and die because the pussy wouldn't be able to take it. I've been holding that in for a year, I feel much better. Thank you very much! * * * * * * * * * * Name of Asshole: Matthew L*kl What they should be called: Perverted asshole Location: Wayne, NJ, USA Workplace/Career: Selling houses/delivering pizza Relationship: None Why they made the Bitch List: He's a closet queer who kept poking my crotch area at work and he did it in a way that he made sure he kept his watchful eyes out so that no one saw him. So that means in a court of law, I have no witnesses but myself. I demanded that he stop touching my crotch or else I'd tear his throat out and bite his fingers off, but he ignored me and kept increasing his gay action. How they should be punished: Put him in a ring with me and allow me to punish him with my expertise in martial arts without me having to be prosecuted. I'll freakin' shove my brutal fist in his god-forsaken chest cavity & torso scramble him. I'll rip his smelly guts right the heck out and strangle him with his own intestines. Ain't no one going to think I'm a freakin' pushover. * * * * * * * * * * Name of Asshole: Ruby E*t*n What they should be called: Skank-Bitch-Slut-Whore Location: Blackburn, England Workplace/Career: Student Relationship: Ex-friend Why they made the Bitch List: This biatch used to be my friend, but we had a falling out over her stupid boyfriend - wot a minger! - so she ripped up my very important exam results. So for revenge I have made everyone at college hate her - I told everyone she has a bunch of STDs (which is probably true, you can't sleep with over 60 people without using anything and remain STD-free), and I used your 'retard child' thing which worked wonders! And me and all my good friends are nasty to her. Then she rung my mum and said I was bullying her - yeah right. Then rung and threatened me (bitch!) and now she keeps ringing and hanging up - how sad can you get? Some people have no lives. She deserves everything she gets because I hate her! She is an obsessive psycho loser who thinks every girl is a 'silly bitch' who is after her boyfriend - yeah right luv, just look at him! mingers.com - need i say more? How they should be punished: She should be made to contact everyone she's slept with and tell them all about her hundreds of STDS and how they will all have them too! Then she should die a painful death with lots of blood. * * * * * * * * * * Name of Asshole: Janis K. What they should be called: Tinkle whore Location: Denver Workplace/Career: Lawyer Relationship: Girlfriend, possibly former girlfriend Why they made the Bitch List: Oh, let me tell you! This bitch rag sleeps with me every night. She gives great cunnyhead whenever I need and I reciprocate cause I love doing it and I love her. We've been together for 7 years. We own a house together fer chissakes! And now she has this urge/desire/fetish for me to pee on her! I can hardly pee in the toilet when she's taking a shower! For a few years she's wanted to wipe my when I finish peeing! Ugh! No way! Now this? Maybe if I had an aimable dicky I could pee on her with my eyes closed, but she wants me to stand over her and pee down on her in the tub. I simply can't do it. So, what does Ms. Lawyer bitch do? She has one of her clerks do it for her! And, she tells me about it! I am so freakin' pissed (what a rotten fuckin' pun when I am so angry!) Ms Lawyer bitch and Ms Clerk bitch (who I can't stand anyway!) pissing on each other. How in the world can I ever go down on her again knowing that this bitch pissed on her! Yuck! How they should be punished: Ms. Lawyer oughta have the urge to pee in court and soil herself in front of the judge. Ms. Clerk should give me head for a month whenever I want it. I hate her but she is so totally cute and what a great payback! * * * * * * * * * * Name of Asshole: Carley What they should be called: Dirty little bitch who's face looks uglier than my cat's ass Location: Canada Workplace/Career: School Relationship: Ex friend Why they made the Bitch List: Is a stupid lying back-stabbing little pussy sucking skank. Liked a guy who liked me and got mad at me when he asked me out and I even said 'no' and she's just a fugly bitch. How they should be punished: By having her nose shoved up her own ass then having to sit on broomstick and then lick it clean! Stupid hoe! * * * * * * * * * * |
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